8th September
This week, I talk about a book called ‘Assholes, A Theory’ by Aaron James.
Two things struck me when I picked this title — one, an almost instinctive reaction that ‘No. Assholes are not a theory. They’re real.’ Two, I think this is the first time I’m reading a book by an author who is a certified ‘philosopher’.
So, I guessed the book would be an academic view — gyaan — on assholes (not biological at all, not necessarily linguistic, but definitely deep on a metaphysical level). What life lessons would I get, I wondered.
The Theory Begins
I delved in the book. As expected, the book is about establishing the anatomy of an asshole.
It has an interesting question — ‘What is in it in for someone to be an asshole?’ after proclaiming that we face assholes everywhere and everyday — in the military, in politics, in entertainment industry, at work, at schools, in friends circles and sometimes, even in the family.
James, tries to set the premise by saying ‘Do you know who I am?’ is the quintessential asshole question. That explains the definition he comes up with.
An asshole is anyone who allows himself to enjoy special advantages systematically out of a sense of entitlement and is immune to any complains whatsoever.
To boot, he says assholes are mainly men. And he goes on to ponder early on whether we can make peace with ‘a human condition in which assholes flourish’.
The Asshole Types
The book expands into seemingly setting a scale of ‘assholishness’ from a ‘royal asshole’ to a ‘borderline asshole’. That made me chuckle, but James’ reasoning is to be sure an asshole is an asshole and not simple an occasional jerk or boor. For that, I appreciate the sincerity of his effort to theorise the traits of real assholes, understand their behaviours and their bearing at large. And of course, their various types.
The books gives colourful examples — some that may seem frivolous on the face. On one hand, it terms Obama as an anti-asshole while Trump is the ass-clown.
He sees Steve Jobs as a definite asshole. He backs it up with a statement from Jobs’ best friend, Johnny Ivy Mama. Mama says of Jobs — “(when Jobs is frustrated)…His way to achieve catharsis is to hurt somebody. And I think he feels he has a liberty and license to do that. The normal rules of social engagement, he feels don’t apply to him.”
This seems to be in line with, what the author says is an assholes trait — arrogantia or the importance of being recognised. A footnote adds — ‘assholes may have what psychologists call “narcissist personality disorder”. ‘The problem is not a deliberate exploitation but a kind of wilful sensitivity,’ the book adds.
Not surprising then that “Screw You!” is an asshole’s response to complaints which is where the problem lies.
Unfortunately, it is often the asshole who emerges as the winner. A cool-headed person can become dust in the fight is to be heard, and not be treated dismissively. The asshole “when others complain, he easily dismisses the objection quickly finds convincing arguments that rationalise the objection away and moves on. He compliments himself on how good he is at this because he is very good at it indeed,” says James.
The culture conundrum
While the book says the asshole boss is a common phenomenon, the asshole CEO is a bigger threat.
What made me think was James’ points on culture and the asshole. He says, “Once the right or wrong culture settles in, the asshole population can expand”
And then there is a domino effect of the asshole CEO behaviour. “The asshole CEO will embrace his duty with moral gusto, sensing an otherwise forbidden rush of power and profits lying ahead. Others who are not already assholes will nevertheless get comfortable with this behaviour, trying to keep up with or beat the pack. As this repeated across thousands of boardrooms rooms and CEO offices, being steadily reinforced with oft-repeated suggestions of how all this works to the “greater good”, assholes grow and flower. The way of the asshole can, thus, become the normal way,” the books says. Clearly, thus, culture is no longer ‘right’ or ‘wrong’. It is what grows.
This is scary and at the same time, a reality of many people in positions of power (PIPOPs, as I would like to call them). There is an urgent need to be wary of the ‘asshole culture’ getting normalised.
In fact, there’s a documentary with the same title as the book. I saw the trailer and it ends with a young boy saying, “…seen everyone else. Seen what they are getting in life. I am choosing to be an asshole.” No words. Just fear; perhaps, sadness.
End note
When it comes to gender, assholes are usually men, proclaims the book. That doesn’t mean a female version of an asshole doesn’t exist. James’ commentary continues with reference to her as a ‘bitch’. The subtle difference is that she acknowledges complaints made about her behaviour to the face of the complainer, which an asshole would not do, and then continues to behave as if the complaints were never made.
I think this may sound controversial at a level but it did make me think — what am I reading?
The book needs to be re-read to unpeel more layers. I will be doing so again. It is intelligent but repetitive but full marks to the range of ideas, and the uncensored and unabashed use of word ‘asshole’ throughout the text. It addresses real-world issues and presents the study of ‘assholishness’ as a part of understanding human behaviour.
In the parting, James signs off by directly addressing the asshole “It pains me tell you this, just so, many who know you will find your death relieving. There will be a quiet celebration.” Morose, but well-intended.
